Fic: Holmes Didn't Say

[daylyn]

Title: Holmes Didn’t Say
Fandom: Sherlock Holmes
Pairing: Holmes/Watson
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine, although actually in the public domain. No profit is intended.

Summary: Five times Holmes didn’t say, “I love you,” on the day that Killer Evans shot Watson.

Author’s Note: This is written for the Holmesslash Yahoo group Friday Fives prompt: Five times Holmes didn't say "I love you, too", though he wanted to.

Please note that the dialogue from the first scene is taken directly from Arthur Conan Doyle’s story, “The Adventures of the Three Garridebs”.


Holmes Didn’t Say

Two shots rang. Holmes then slammed his own revolver against Killer Evans’ head and the man fell to the ground, dropping the discharged firearm as blood poured from his face. Holmes quickly checked him for additional weapons, then turned to Watson, his eyes widening in shock as he saw his friend clutching his leg. Holmes rushed to him, throwing his arms around Watson and leading him to a chair.

“You’re not hurt, Watson? For God’s sake, say that you are not hurt!”

Watson took a moment to respond, his eyes searching Holmes and his teeth gritting in pain. “It’s nothing, Holmes. It’s a mere scratch.”

Holmes drew out his pocket knife and ripped Watson’s trousers, checking the wound. He felt almost faint with relief. “You’re right,” he said, “it is quite superficial.” He looked in Watson’s eyes, a smile of joy slowly spreading upon his face.

I love you, Holmes didn’t say.

Instead he turned to Killer Evans, his eyes hardening. “By the Lord, it is well for you,” Holmes said to him. “If you had killed Watson, you would not have got out of this room alive.”

**********

Holmes and Watson sat in Inspector Lestrade’s office at Scotland Yard. The ferret-faced policeman was pacing up and down, surprisingly distraught.

“This is unacceptable, Mr. Holmes,” Lestrade finally said. “What were you thinking, going against such a dangerous man and not bringing in the police? You gave me just the barest amount of information, told me to expect a call, and then you rush in like fools and almost get Doctor Watson killed.”

“I was not certain of Killer Evans' motives,” Holmes replied, his voice soft and uncharacteristically contrite, “and thus the police could not act. He was not the first dangerous man that Watson and I have faced and, God willing, he won’t be the last. We did what was necessary to capture a treacherous criminal. I had the situation under control.”

“This is your idea of being in control!” Lestrade exclaimed. “Is Doctor Watson’s injury an example of your control?”

“Holmes informed me beforehand of the dangerous nature of the man,” Watson said firmly, “and I followed him anyway. I would again. Holmes knew what he was doing, prepared as much as possible and, yes, had the situation under control.”

Holmes turned to Watson and nodded his thanks. Their eyes met and Holmes could see Watson’s fierce admiration and loyalty.

I love you, Holmes didn’t say.

Instead he looked at Lestrade. “If you’re done reprimanding us for bringing you a murdering fiend, I would like to get Watson some medical care for that scratch. No, no doctor, don’t protest. I know that physicians make the worst patients but, nonetheless, you are having that wound looked at.”

**********

They sat in the cab, returning home to Baker Street after their visit to the doctor’s office. Holmes looked at Watson, and suddenly the reality of the day hit him.

I could have lost him, Holmes thought. My friend, my comrade, my partner, my lover. My God, I could have lost him.

Holmes clutched Watson’s hand.

Watson looked over at him in surprise. “I’m fine, Holmes,” he said gently.

Holmes went to release Watson’s hand, but Watson held onto him tightly.

“Would you really have killed Killer Evans?” Watson asked softly.

I love you, Holmes didn’t say.

Instead he said, “Yes.”

**********

Mrs. Hudson gave a startled shriek when she saw Watson’s ripped trousers and the bandage underneath. “What happened?” she demanded.

“We had a minor altercation with a criminal,” Watson explained, “and I was shot in the process. It’s nothing, Mrs. Hudson, just a minor scratch.”

She whirled around to face her other lodger. “Mr. Holmes,” she said angrily, “you know better than to get Doctor Watson hurt.”

“It’s not his fault,” Watson argued.

Mrs. Hudson ignored him. “Well, Mr. Holmes,” she demanded instead, glaring at him.

“I will be more careful with the doctor in the future, Mrs. Hudson,” Holmes said in an attempt to placate her.

“And with yourself as well,” she stated firmly. She looked angrily at both of them. “Now, go upstairs and I’ll bring you supper.” She stormed away, muttering about the having the worst tenants in London.

“I fear,” Holmes said to Watson as they climbed the stairs,” that you have a much better chance of defending my honor to Lestrade than to Mrs. Hudson.”

Watson laughed as they entered their rooms. “She is long-suffering, Holmes. And she does know you quite well. I’m afraid you’re right.” He sat of their sofa, stretching out his wounded leg and sighing in relief.

“Are you in much pain?” Holmes asked.

“A bit,” Watson answered truthfully, “but it’s not too bad. I’m just happy to be home.”

Holmes poured him a brandy and carried it to him. He looked down at Watson, his eyes quickly taking in the shredded trousers, the bandaged leg, and the faint lines of pain etched in Watson’s face.

I love you, Holmes didn’t say.

Instead he handed Watson the brandy.

**********

Later that night, after a dinner of all of Watson’s favorites, Holmes slowly opened the door to Watson’s room to check on his friend. It appeared that Watson was sleeping soundly. Holmes watched him for a moment, and then turned to leave.

“Holmes?” Watson said in a sleep laden voice.

“Go back to sleep,” Holmes said soothingly.

“Aren’t you coming to bed?” Watson asked.

“I thought I’d let you sleep undisturbed tonight,” Holmes said, gently stroking Watson’s brow.

“You never disturb me, Holmes.”

I’ve never told him how I feel, Holmes thought, continuing to caress him. He could have died today, and I’ve never told him how I feel.

“I…” love you, Holmes didn’t say.

Instead he whispered, “I… want you to get some rest.” He turned to leave.

“Holmes,” Watson said, catching his hand. Holmes turned back.

“I love you, too,” Watson said. He pulled Holmes firmly into the bed and kissed him fiercely. Then he proceeded to ensure that Holmes didn’t say another word all night.

Comments

[snarry_fan7]

Most excellent and so wonderfully captured. Grand work!~Sophia

[daylyn.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much.

[the-callum.livejournal.com]

So sweet, brilliantly written. It's always great to read something I can actually 'taste and feel' while reading.

Seems the muse returned to you nonetheless. ;o) (See, they know their favourites.)

[daylyn.livejournal.com]

Thank you. What a nice compliment.

And it seems that my muse popped back over the border, inspired me for this, and then ran off again (probably with some drunken biker). *sigh*

Come back Muse. All is forgiven.

[darketernal09.livejournal.com]

that was very well done. u captured the characters perfectally. Fantastic!

[daylyn.livejournal.com]

Thank you. It's a challenge to capture the characters in tiny snippets, and I'm really glad you think I did.

[elena-c.livejournal.com]

Oh yes, that was nice. Five small bits of perfect chocolate. Thank you.

[daylyn.livejournal.com]

Thank you. What a wonderful description. Glad you like it.

[derien.livejournal.com]

Exactly right! :)

[daylyn.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[sherlock2040.livejournal.com]

Awwwwww! Watson knows what Holmes is trying to say and still loves him to death for everything.

Beautifully written :) :)

[daylyn.livejournal.com]

Thank you. That's just it -- after all that time, Watson just had to become adept at reading Holmes.

[plaid-slytherin.livejournal.com]

Oh, that's wonderful. I love Watson; of course, he knew what Holmes was trying to say...

[daylyn.livejournal.com]

Thank you. Yes, while Watson may not have Holmes' observational skill for others, he certainly knows how to read his detective.

[dreamwaffles.livejournal.com]

...this made me wibble. It was just so perfectly captured, and of COURSE Watson knows exactly what poor Holmes is trying to say! Very, very cute!

(oh, and, um, hi. No one knows me, but I've been lurking for at least six months.)

[daylyn.livejournal.com]

Thank you. Watson does know his Holmes very well, after all.

And welcome lurker. Come out and play -- it's lots of fun.

[lullula.livejournal.com]

That was lovely, you captured both of them very well ^^.

[daylyn.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much. Holmes is all about what he doesn't (or can't) say, and Watson knows him so well.

[happy-lizard.livejournal.com]

This was so well done. As verbal as Holmes is, he still can't say those 3 little words but Watson knows.

[daylyn.livejournal.com]

Thank you. Yes, Holmes can go on and on... and on... for certain topics, but he would find it near impossible to express his love. Fortunately Watson knows.

[kaoticwords.livejournal.com]

They're so made for each other!
That was really nice to read -and what surely happened after the "You’re not hurt, Watson? For God’s sake, say that you are not hurt!” :)

[daylyn.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I agree -- Holmes and Watson are perfect for each other.

And Watson definitely knew how Holmes felt after Watson was shot; I mean, he even writes about how much Holmes loves him. You know those feelings went both ways, but Holmes would never be able to say it out loud. But Watson can read his Holmes.

[whatthefuckbenj.livejournal.com]

awww I think I just found myself another fandom ;) *has the urge to go looking for any Sherlock Holmes books*

[daylyn.livejournal.com]

Thank you. And welcome. This is a GREAT fandom.

has the urge to go looking for any Sherlock Holmes books

Ask and ye shall receive. The entire canon can be found online at:

http://camdenhouse.ignisart.com/main.htm

And if you want to read more Holmes/Watson slash, may I suggest watergal's excellent recs/listing page. That's what drew me in.

http://www.liquidfic.net/Holmes_Watson.html

Enjoy!

[whatthefuckbenj.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the links!

[wistful-shadow.livejournal.com]

Very nicely done. I particularly liked the scene with Lestrade.

[daylyn.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I quite like Lestrade, but nothing can sway Watson's loyalty.

[satal.livejournal.com]

I was directed here "for my own good." I hope you don't mind the intrusion. This is my first HXW fic (oddly enough). Thank you for my gentle, kind, delightful introduction to the fandom. Quit lovely, and I always applaud canonical theftage!

Also, your mood icons win everything ever created.

Thank you again,

Satal de Rihannsu

[daylyn.livejournal.com]

Welcome. I don't mind the intrusion at all. Glad you found your way here. Thank you, btw, and I'm glad you enjoyed the fic. And sometimes canonical "borrowing" is necessary when you need to set the right mood. ;-)

Holmes/Watson is a great pairing. I came across some fics entirely by accident, and I was totally hooked. As I mentioned above, one of the best places to find H/W fics (if you're interested) is watergal's list/rec page, which can be found at:

http://www.liquidfic.net/Holmes_Watson.html

And if you're intrested in reading the original stories, they are all online at:

http://camdenhouse.ignisart.com/main.htm

Oh, and the mood theme was created by _noesumeragi_. I agree -- it is great.

[emeraldreeve.livejournal.com]

Fabulous,poignant fic!

[daylyn.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[spikejem.livejournal.com]

Absolutely sweet -- very well done!

[daylyn.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much!

[cs-whitewolf.livejournal.com]

Oh I delight in this! Through all those little snippets, Holmes' love is so very obvious, even if he cannot bring himself to utter the words. Simply beautiful!

Peace,
Caspe

[daylyn.livejournal.com]

Thank you! "The Adventures of the Three Garridebs" is one of the slashiest stories in canon and it just lends itself to Holmes' love (and his lack of ability to verbalize that love). The idea for this just popped into my head and wouldn't leave until I wrote it.

And since the canon is so wonderfully slashy, where Watson is like, "OMG, look at Holmes! He loves me!", and since every Holmes/Watson fan should just read that little bit, here it is:

____

Scene: Holmes and Watson are waiting to capture Killer Evans, who has just fired his revovlver twice and hit Watson's leg.

In an instant he had whisked out a revolver from his breast and had fired two shots. I felt a sudden hot sear as if a red-hot iron had been pressed to my thigh. There was a crash as Holmes’s pistol came down on the man’s head. I had a vision of him sprawling upon the floor with blood running down his face while Holmes rummaged him for weapons. Then my friend’s wiry arms were round me, and he was leading me to a chair.

“You’re not hurt, Watson? For God’s sake, say that you are not hurt!”

It was worth a wound–it was worth many wounds–to know the depth of loyalty and love which lay behind that cold mask. The clear, hard eyes were dimmed for a moment, and the firm lips were shaking. For the one and only time I caught a glimpse of a great heart as well as of a great brain. All my years of humble but single-minded service culminated in that moment of revelation.

“It’s nothing, Holmes. It’s a mere scratch.”

He had ripped up my trousers with his pocket-knife.

“You are right,” he cried with an immense sigh of relief. “It is quite superficial.” His face set like flint as he glared at our prisoner, who was sitting up with a dazed face. “By the Lord, it is as well for you. If you had killed Watson, you would not have got out of this room alive. Now, sir, what have you to say for yourself?”
___

All us slashers squeal in glee at canon!slash. Not only does Watson actually write of Holmes' love, but he shows that Holmes was willing to kill for him. *happy sigh*

I couldn't help but be inspired by such a brilliant scene. So glad you liked my fic.

[cs-whitewolf.livejournal.com]

X) I actually listened to the audio book of "The Three Garridebs" a couple of weeks ago on a rec, and possibly maybe might have squeed at the insinuation in Watson's end monologue where Holmes' "clear, hard eyes were dimmed for a moment, and the firm lips were shaking..."

Gosh, I wibble something aweful! Both at the canon!love and your interpretation of it.

I think I'll need to pick up a collected works or something when I'm in town this weekend ;) just, you know...!

[jrosemary.blogspot.com (from livejournal.com)]

Oh, lovely, lovely, lovely! Watson didn't need to hear the words--not with Holmes expressing his love so eloquently through his actions. Excellent job.

~Rose

[daylyn.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much. It's quite lovely to get comment on something I posted a while ago and this is actually one of my favorites little fics that I've done. I'm thrilled to hear that you enjoyed it.