New Fic: The Waiting

[daylyn]

I woke up from a dream with this in my head as a response to jamie2109 and nocturnali's AWDT challenge. The prompt was "May the better man win".

Title: The Waiting
Pairing: HP/SS
Rating: PG-13
Length: 625 words
Warning: Character Death
Disclaimer: So not mine.

This is completely un-betaed, since I wanted to post it before the weekly challenge ended.


The Waiting

It’s been six months since he’s been gone, and Harry still waits. He waits for the one who can change everything. The one who can end his torment.

Every time he opens the door, he hopes that this time He will be there. That He will claim him. But He never does. So Harry waits.

Harry still vividly remembers the day the waiting began. The last time he saw… him.

It was just moments before the cataclysm that they blithely call the Victory Battle. On that day Harry won the fight, but lost everything that mattered.

That day, Severus had leaned down and lightly touched his lips to Harry’s. In front of others. A first. He had always been so circumspect before.

The kiss ended slowly, and then Severus whispered into Harry’s ear, “May the better man win.” Since there was no way that Old Snake Eyes could even remotely still be considered a man at that point, Harry knew that this was his lover’s last good bye. Severus pulled away and started to walk off.

Harry grabbed his arm. There was so much Harry desperately wanted to say. ‘Be careful.’ ‘Be safe.’ ‘Good luck.’ ‘Don’t die.’ He especially wanted to say 'I love you.' But he knew that all these comments would be futile. And hurtful. Severus had his job to do, after all. That’s what they had been told… that Severus must do his job.

But Harry still couldn’t let go. “Promise me that you’ll meet me back here… when it’s all over,” he said instead.

Harry could see the depth of desperation in Severus’ eye. He pulled Harry to him fiercely, and captured Harry’s lips in a bruising kiss. Harry could feel his lover shaking with raw need… and fear… and the kiss amplified it with his own. He could feel the power of Severus’ love… and sorrow… and despair.

Then Severus broke off with an anguished cry, turning and striding off.

Harry realized that Severus hadn’t promised to meet him after all. For how could he? They all knew he would be dead before the battle even began.

Harry desperately wanted to call out, to stop him, to tell him not to go. Didn’t he know that he was walking into a trap? And that he would be killed violently, viciously, by the one who he used to call ‘Master’.

But they had gone over the plans, again and again. And this was ‘The Only Way’. Severus would spring the trap. And then Harry and the Order would spring a trap of their own.

It was all decided. One life given so many could be saved. It was the logical, rational thing to do. Everyone said so. Everyone told Harry that. Harry hated them all. Even Severus for agreeing to it. But especially Harry hated himself, since he did nothing to stop his lover from walking to his doom.

Harry watched as Severus strode off into the Forbidden Forest. Watched him disappear. Knew he would never see him again.

But Harry hoped against hope that his lover would be waiting for him when he finally walked away from Voldemort’s smoldering ashes and the corpse ridden field. Harry knew he had fulfilled his ‘destiny’. He hoped that there was a reward, that somehow… someway… he would be granted the only desire he had in the world.

Of course he wasn’t.

So now Harry waits instead.

He waits for the day that Death comes to claim him. Every day, every knock at the door, every noise he hears, he hopes that it is Death and that He will end this suffering. That Death will reunite him with the only one he ever wanted.

But Death never comes.

And Harry still waits.

Comments

[maverickmila.livejournal.com]

*sniffs* That was amazingly. *sniffs again* You had me sobbing there. Excellent work.

And I love your icon. :)

[daylyn.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much. I was trying for that "desperate hopeless" feeling.

And the icon was made by samiamicons.

[igtow.livejournal.com]

I KNEW I shouldn't read this! Knew it, knew it, knew it! Now my stomach hurts and it's no one's fault but my own. And this. Well done.

[daylyn.livejournal.com]

Umm... thanks?

*offers you some Tums*

Glad you liked it.

(Someday, I really MUST write the Snarry epics that are in my head in which they don't die)

[igtow.livejournal.com]

Yes, you must write them and I'll be the first in line to read them. And the stomach thing happens everytime I read a death fic--I usually avoid them, but seeing it was you--aned it was well done... I'm not certain tums will do the trick, fluff maybe, but thanks anyway.

[daylyn.livejournal.com]

I love fluff. My favorite thing to read is angsty fluff. But it seems that I either write angsty death fics when I write by myself or outrageous humor parodies when I write with my co-author arrmaitee.

I do have (several) Snarry epics that have literally been in my head for about a year and a half. I seem to be suffering from a bad case of writer's block, though. But maybe... maybe... I can try and coax them out.

Glad you commented and I can't wait to read your next chapters.

Cheers.

[djin7.livejournal.com]

*sniffle* So bloody sad.
Great work.
Thank you.

[daylyn.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

This wasn't exactly a pleasant way to wake up, but I did feel compelled to write it.

Glad you liked it.

[sinick.livejournal.com]

Brrr. Painful, poignant work!

Could I possibly tempt you into posting this at dead_potter_soc?

[daylyn.livejournal.com]

Thanks.

And thanks for for tempting me. I've already posted it.

[daylyn.livejournal.com]

Quick question. Does dead_potter_soc accept vampire fics?

I've got another poignant death fic that I wrote a while ago called A Cry in the Dark, but Draco's a vampire in that one.

Don't want to post the wrong type of story, so just let me know. Thanks.

[sinick.livejournal.com]

Hmmm, tricky. I'm afraid I'm a little bit reluctant about vampire stories, because there's another community which focuses solely on that theme, and I think it's best when themed places stick to their themes.

Would you like to post "A Cry in the Dark" at hpvamp? It'd fit in perfectly there, and I'm sure they'll love it!

[daylyn.livejournal.com]

It had actually been posted there when I first wrote it, but thanks for the suggestion anyway.

Cheers!

[percysowner.livejournal.com]

That was lovely, I'm a sucker for a good death fic and this is a good one.

[daylyn.livejournal.com]

Thank you. Glad I could provide you with some angsty death.

[jamie2109.livejournal.com]

OMG I read Snarry!!!!! You made me read Snarry after I vowed and delcared that I would never do that. And it wasn't awful. lol

Actually, it was wonderfully written and very sad, very very sad.

Thankyou so much for writing and joining in. I had a huge smile on my face when I saw that you had. I'm adding it to the post now.

*huge hugs*

[daylyn.livejournal.com]

*hugs back* God, I miss you!

But hah! *starts chanting in sing song voice "I made you read Snarry!*

I'm glad I joined too. I've been wanting to for a while, but I've been having such a terrible case of writer's block. I'm just glad that I managed to get SOMETHING out. I just woke up with this story in my head.

I have to admit that I enjoyed writing it.

*goes off to check the next week's prompt*

Hmmm...

[il-etait-1-fois.livejournal.com]

I'm *not* bawling my eyes out - or maybe I am, but I guess this is an hormonal reaction.
And the choking feeling is but an ice-cream indigestion.
And I'm not trembling because of the artful sadness your fic radiates.

Of course.

[daylyn.livejournal.com]

I'm glad to hear that you're not doing any of those things.

*knowing smirk*

Thank you and I'm glad you liked it.

[soberloki.livejournal.com]

Ow ow ow ow OW....

Aw, fuck. Break my heart much?

*sniffly smile*

[daylyn.livejournal.com]

Thanks. Sorry about the heart condition, though.

*hand you tissue for sniffles*

[cdkobasiuk.livejournal.com]

Excellently put together. I loved it. Especially the end.

cdk

[daylyn.livejournal.com]

Thank you. The ending is my favorite part as well.

The way I seem to end up writing is that I come up with the ending first, and then have to come up with a way to get there.

Cheers.

[paradise4writin.livejournal.com]

*sniffs*

Beautiful...just simply beautiful

[daylyn.livejournal.com]

Thank you. Glad you liked it.

[daughter-moon.livejournal.com]

Angst. Wow.

[daylyn.livejournal.com]

Yeah. Thanks.

[snapesdarkling.livejournal.com]

waaaaaaaaaahhhhhh

[daylyn.livejournal.com]

OMG. I made you cry. Wow.

*feeling a strange sense of accomplishment (and guilt) at the moment*

[ccmom.livejournal.com]

I meant to comment earlier, but I forgot. *smacks head* I am so getting old.

Very nice. Heartbreaking in the realization that somebody probably will be sacrificed for "the better good" or something stupid like that.

I actually felt bad for Snape. Well done! Cause, I really don't like him. So, good job!

[daylyn.livejournal.com]

Thanks. And Woo Hoo! I'm succeeding in my master plan to make all Snape haters into Snape lovers (well... likesr... er... toleraters... hey, I'll take what I can get).

Seriously, I'm glad you liked it. And yeah, I agree that I can forsee a stupid sacrifice occuring.

[ccmom.livejournal.com]

Nope! I refuse to cooperate with Master Plans. Besides, I like being a Snape hater. :) It's only on special occasions or good fics (like this one) that I'm willing to give into the temptation of becoming a Snape tolerater.

I'm wondering if the person who dies in book 6 is the one who will be sacrificed for the greater good? Wouldn't that suck.

[kinky-kneazle.livejournal.com]

I love a good Martyr!Snape. Beautifully written, and poor Harry. I liked the bit about Death at the end, because I thought the He at the beginning was Snape. Of course, that's what you wanted me to think.

Also, I will adore you forever for posting Snarry at AWDT. I can't write it myself, but I love reading it.

[daylyn.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I'm glad to know that He=Death actually worked and made sense. At the end, of course. And I just know that JKR is going to create Matyr!Snape, but without the Snarry good bye kiss. *sigh*

I'm also pleased that you liked that I wrote Snarry for AWDT. I didn't know how this would be received there, since it seems to be predominately H/D. But I'm of the firm belief that there can never be too much Snarry in the world.

Cheers.

[sugareey.livejournal.com]

wow...that was definitely something. very good! =D

[daylyn.livejournal.com]

Thank you. Glad you enjoyed it.

Tissue Alert!!

[vejgeta9.livejournal.com]

Where in the hell is that box of klenexx when you need them? Wonderful story, luv. Really beautiful. As much as I loath Snape (but would shag him regardless) I must admit that was touching.

Great Job.

~Vejgeta9

Re: Tissue Alert!!

[daylyn.livejournal.com]

LOL! So glad you liked it.

I'm just a Snape whore, even now (after HBP). You'll find Snape fans can rationalize anything

Hope you're doing well.