daylyn: (Default)
daylyn ([personal profile] daylyn) wrote2004-05-03 02:47 pm

His Screams Fill The Night


Here's my first 100-word drabble. It was written with [livejournal.com profile] arrmaitee.


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His Screams Fill The Night

by

Daylyn


His screams fill the night.

The boy lies in the infirmary, pale in the moonlight; his lightening-shaped scar bleeding dark red.

Albus senses my approach. “Severus, how are…?” he falters.

I gaze into his cold, opaque eyes. I want to cry out… to make him taste Lupin’s spattered blood and witness my lover’s silent stoic stare as I bludgeoned him in service to the Dark Lord.

“Fine, Headmaster,” I reply instead.

“Severus,” he utters uneasily. “I didn’t mean…”

I walk away, unwilling to hear his false platitudes. He will never understand.

Only the screaming boy and I know the pain.


[identity profile] x-ariadne-x.livejournal.com 2004-05-03 10:53 pm (UTC)(link)
Wow .... just...wow!

[identity profile] miss-serpentine.livejournal.com 2004-05-03 10:57 pm (UTC)(link)
Oooh! Very nice! The imagery is very well done.

[identity profile] daylyn.livejournal.com 2004-05-03 10:57 pm (UTC)(link)
Thanks! I really should be working on other things, but this just came to me in the shower (disturbing, huh), and I just had to write it instead.

[identity profile] daylyn.livejournal.com 2004-05-03 11:02 pm (UTC)(link)
Thanks!

[identity profile] x-ariadne-x.livejournal.com 2004-05-03 11:15 pm (UTC)(link)
you must have a very dark mind, lol. but I know what you mean, sometimes things just kinda pop into your head, and that was very good to come up with!! and for something so short, it's pretty powerful!

So few words ....

[identity profile] legacylady.livejournal.com 2004-05-03 11:38 pm (UTC)(link)
... but SO MUCH raw emotion packed into them!! WELL DONE!! I had to read it twice to let it sink in - the sadness and pain Snape must have felt.

Kudos!!!

Re: So few words ....

[identity profile] daylyn.livejournal.com 2004-05-03 11:53 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you! I just had to stop doing everything else until I had this written. I'm glad you enjoyed it. (And I agree, poor Snape; he's forced to repress his screams and his pain)

[identity profile] celtic-phantasm.livejournal.com 2004-05-04 12:45 am (UTC)(link)
Wow. Very short but very powerful. Fantastic job.

[identity profile] daylyn.livejournal.com 2004-05-04 01:18 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you so very much!

[identity profile] arrmaitee.livejournal.com 2004-05-04 02:21 am (UTC)(link)
This is absolutely outstanding. In 100 words, you've conveyed more emotion than most authors do in novel length fanfics. Bravo!

[identity profile] daylyn.livejournal.com 2004-05-04 03:24 am (UTC)(link)
Well, thank you! There's a lot of pain packed in there. And anguish. Poor Snape.

[identity profile] babydyke1319.livejournal.com 2004-05-04 05:35 am (UTC)(link)
I just spent the last hour watching a Documentary about Cannibalistic serial killers, and it didn't make me ill.

I read this, and it made me cry and want to vomit.

I praise you. This was fantastic.

[identity profile] daylyn.livejournal.com 2004-05-04 06:24 am (UTC)(link)
Umm...thanks (I think).

I know what you mean, though. The piece disturbs me as well. I have know idea where it came from, but I was compelled to write it.

[identity profile] partitioning.livejournal.com 2004-05-04 08:55 am (UTC)(link)
Pointed here by [livejournal.com profile] armaitee...
Raw emotion... I like the last line a lot.

[identity profile] daylyn.livejournal.com 2004-05-04 10:18 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you! It is pretty raw, isn't it...

[identity profile] jupluna.livejournal.com 2004-05-04 05:28 pm (UTC)(link)
Wow....thats all I can really say.

[identity profile] daylyn.livejournal.com 2004-05-04 05:34 pm (UTC)(link)
"Wow" says a lot. Thanks!

[identity profile] shimaspawn.livejournal.com 2004-05-05 02:01 pm (UTC)(link)
You managed to convey an amazing amount of emotion with a tiny amount of words. Kudos to you.

[identity profile] daylyn.livejournal.com 2004-05-05 02:29 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you. There is quite a lot of emotion there, and I think the fact that no one expresses it is what makes the piece so compelling.

[identity profile] arrmaitee.livejournal.com 2004-05-06 03:35 am (UTC)(link)
So what do you think of my new Janet icon?

[identity profile] daylyn.livejournal.com 2004-05-06 05:22 am (UTC)(link)
Lovely icon. So that's what was broadcast (do you know, I never actually saw the picture before). The performance was so contrived, wasn't it.

But it makes for quite the LJ icon. Nice photoshopping (look, I created a new word. Yay!

[identity profile] arrmaitee.livejournal.com 2004-05-06 05:34 am (UTC)(link)
I can't believe I haven't seen it iconned before. It's perfect for an icon!

[identity profile] little-sun.livejournal.com 2004-05-07 09:20 pm (UTC)(link)
poors...
moving...

[identity profile] daylyn.livejournal.com 2004-05-08 03:00 am (UTC)(link)
Thanks!

[identity profile] little-sun.livejournal.com 2004-05-09 08:58 am (UTC)(link)
Oh God, your Crookshanks icon is COOLish thing ever!

Lol, writing something else (longer)?

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