His Screams Fill The Night

[daylyn]

Here's my first 100-word drabble. It was written with arrmaitee.


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His Screams Fill The Night

by

Daylyn

His screams fill the night.

The boy lies in the infirmary, pale in the moonlight; his lightening-shaped scar bleeding dark red.

Albus senses my approach. “Severus, how are…?” he falters.

I gaze into his cold, opaque eyes. I want to cry out… to make him taste Lupin’s spattered blood and witness my lover’s silent stoic stare as I bludgeoned him in service to the Dark Lord.

“Fine, Headmaster,” I reply instead.

“Severus,” he utters uneasily. “I didn’t mean…”

I walk away, unwilling to hear his false platitudes. He will never understand.

Only the screaming boy and I know the pain.

Comments

[x-ariadne-x.livejournal.com]

Wow .... just...wow!

[miss-serpentine.livejournal.com]

Oooh! Very nice! The imagery is very well done.

So few words ....

[legacylady.livejournal.com]

... but SO MUCH raw emotion packed into them!! WELL DONE!! I had to read it twice to let it sink in - the sadness and pain Snape must have felt.

Kudos!!!

[celtic-phantasm.livejournal.com]

Wow. Very short but very powerful. Fantastic job.

[arrmaitee.livejournal.com]

This is absolutely outstanding. In 100 words, you've conveyed more emotion than most authors do in novel length fanfics. Bravo!

[babydyke1319.livejournal.com]

I just spent the last hour watching a Documentary about Cannibalistic serial killers, and it didn't make me ill.

I read this, and it made me cry and want to vomit.

I praise you. This was fantastic.

[partitioning.livejournal.com]

Pointed here by armaitee...
Raw emotion... I like the last line a lot.

[jupluna.livejournal.com]

Wow....thats all I can really say.

[shimaspawn.livejournal.com]

You managed to convey an amazing amount of emotion with a tiny amount of words. Kudos to you.

[little-sun.livejournal.com]

poors...
moving...

Wow!

[amsev.livejournal.com]

Ouch. Beautiful. Dark. Ouch. Nice job!

Nice...

[vejgeta9.livejournal.com]

Well, a little birdie told me to read this dribble... the little birdie was of course arrmaitee lol... anywayz... wow... it is kinda angsty... (the best kind of dribble) again... wow... Please know that it's well liked!!

[http://users.livejournal.com/__b_r_o_k_e_n/]

Incredible. That's all I can say.

Review

[alienstars2004.livejournal.com]

Disturbing. Very disturbing. Good, still.

[whitefaith.livejournal.com]

And now I'm crying.
That was amazing, one of the best drabbles I have ever read. It just, struck such a chord with me, so powerful.

[chokl8-opal.livejournal.com]

its so cool and spooky-like! (that's a compliment, btw) i like never review anything, but this is so cool! love the emotion...

[lilmisstwirly.livejournal.com]

wow. short, but powerful.

[http://users.livejournal.com/ce_nedra_/]

Oh, so short, but it seems that there is such a long story behind it all. I can really feel the love these two boys have for each other. So much love but also so much pain. Very beautiful and tragic.
It's actually the title that caught my attention, I like the sound of it, sad but beautiful.
That's just a wonderful piece of work. ^_^

Guh...

[stardustlady.livejournal.com]

Wow... just wow. It's been a long time since a story made me, well, feel like that. I actually cried. I cannot believe I cried over a 100 words when I rarely cry over anything. Amazing emotion packed into those few words. I wish I could say something more eloquent, but you've cut me to the core.

[kirili.livejournal.com]

Eugh.
Gorgeous.

I think I cried a little..

[hd-slash-fan.livejournal.com]

So beautiful and sad... I just wanted to die...

loved it.

Wow!

[at-splicken.livejournal.com]

You can just feel the pain in this, and the image of Severus bludgeoning Remus as he stood and stared at him is really vivid. Brilliant.

[riku-rocks.livejournal.com]

Wow. This is impressive. It's short and to the point, yet implies such powerful imagery and emotions. Well done.